Author: jonh
Jon moved to Birmingham from Guernsey in 1997. Many people are confused why. He is working hard to integrate himself. Bab. http://www.theplan.co.uk

101 Things Birmingham Gave the World No. 85: Airside Shopping

The amount of time that we spend airside seems to go up year by year, increasing at a faster rate than the processor power increases on new computer chips. It really needs a ‘law’ — and, considering it seems like you

101 Things Birmingham Gave the World No.84: Wankers

You’ve seen him on the motorway: coming in off the junction, he could drop in safely behind you and still keep the needle at 70 but instead he drops a gear and punches it past you to win a racing

Paradise Circus says: Vote Brumain

Local satirical miscellanies, so the mainstream media says, are not doing enough to get out their core constituency for the Remain vote. We want to, we really want to. But a harder question than the one on the ballot is:

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The football train: Villa v Chelsea, 2nd April 2016

Just after 3pm today, at Aston, despondent football fans shuffled onto my train. Barely anyone spoke, or would look at one another. It was as though they’d been caught stepping out of Taboo Cinema Club by their kid’s headteacher. All

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Full Tilt

Brummie directions, as you know, can only be given with reference to pubs and islands. This works for us. This is a good system, or rather it is until the thing which we need to find is the actual pub

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101 Things Brum Gave The World. No. 78: The sound of silence

I’ve got something I need to tell you about Birmingham. It’ll be legend… – wait for it – …dary. I need to tell you about Birmingham and how it invented the dramatic pause. Well, the one they have on the telly

Satirical cartoon: Armistice Day in Brum

Five people in suits are standing in front of a war memorial. They’re all standing to be leader of the Council’s Labour group, but you probably don’t recognise them. That’s not our fault, it’s theirs. They are bowing. A man

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Bladerunner

There are spaces in the city which are designed to be a terminus. Shops are a terminus. Pubs are a terminus. We run to them. We pop to them. We are at them, we are in them or perhaps we are

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A hundred thousand tables

  A hundred (or more) tables but I’m not hungry. How hungry can one town be? How much lunch can one town eat? But here they are and here they eat. Here where the echo of a phone shop rings. Here,

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You simply must: NOT fight on or near the premises

   A series of things you must do when visiting Birmingham. No. 11: Mere Green M.U.G.A.

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