Like me you’d probably be quite shocked to learn of our Lord Lieutenant, so to have heard about him at the very same time as you hear he has been fired from his post will leave you quite beside yourself.
Yes, sorry to tell you that Lord Lieutenant of the West Midlands is a thing and further more I must to tell you that the current Lord, Paul Sabapathy, just got shit canned for the sort of thing that the boss’s husband does twice a day before breakfast: he did a bad racism about Pakistanis.
It seems that, whilst he likes them individually (and probably has a lot of good Pakistani friends), he finds them as a group to be a bit rude. You see he popped into the Pakistani Consulate in B-Town on official Queen business for Liz, and they were just generally a bit shitty. And it must be hard for a man with a weird vestigial feudal responsibility to know how to voice a grievance in the modern day, now that we’ve outlawed duelling pistols, so he sent some emails all about the place and, well they, got out and it turns out you can’t say things like “Pakistanis are lovely people individually but there is a lot of work to do to teach them basic common courtesy and civility”. Who knew?
Sabapathy hasn’t just let the Queen down with this, he’s let the region down. And he’s given a bad name to all our unelected officials like the High Sheriff of the Midlands and Andy Street (who doesn’t need this shit when he has a shop to open).
We’ve heard that to make amends Sabapathy is going to make a guest appearance in the new series of Citizen Khan, where he’ll get his head stuck in a wheelie bin while trying to hide from the Imam.