Big brother, is watching you apparently. We’re all scared of the Bladerunner-ish techno future where the big screens outside New Street station target you personally with adverts that you ignore on the way to get a train. But how do they actually work? This leaked email from one of Birmingham’s many top PR/social media/smart city conglomerates could reveal all…
To Andy Street From: Andre.De.Jong@zaphiks.in Re: Code Hey Andy, How’s the shop doing? Nearly time for one of those adverts with the anthropomorphism, eh? It gets earlier every year. Or are you in charge of the buses and sorting out the ever increasing homelessness problem on the streets now? I forget. And you do too, also. Anyway, I know it’s a bit late but, I’ve finally finished the code that makes the eye screens around the shopping centre on top of New Street Station check the crowds and respond with appropriate advertisements. Glad we kept the PR about them vague, but assuming that the tech to actually detect faces hundreds of yards away and check their sex and age and that exists and is plugged in, this should work. It’s a Beta or maybe earlier than that, Feta or something.
Send it over to Captia, yeah? Best Andre X 10 REM ************************* 20 REM * NEW STREET STATION * 30 REM * EYE SHAPED SCREENS * 40 REM * CODE FOR ADVERTISING * 50 REM *BASED ON FACE DETECTION* 55 REM * (C) A D JONG 2015-7 * 60 REM ************************* 70 REPEAT { 80 FOR N=1 TO NumberOfPeopleMillingAroundOutsideNewSt 90 X=AFaceInTheCrowd 100 IF (X=LooksABitLikeAlady) THEN (LADIES=LADIES + 1) ELSE IF (X=IsADude) THEN (BLOKES=BLOKES + 1) ELSE IF (X=CantTell) THEN (GAWDKNOWSWHATSTHEPCTERMFORTHATTHESEDAYS=GAWDKNOWSWHATSTHEPCTERMFORTHATTHESEDAYS + 1) 110 AGE= AGE + RoughGuessOfAgeOfFaceBasedOnThierTrainersOrSomething 120 NEXT N 130 AVERAGEAGE=AGE/N 140 IF (LADIES > BLOKES) THEN SHOW AdForTampax ELSE IF (BLOKES > LADIES) THEN SHOW AdForFootball ELSE IF (BLOKES = LADIES) THEN SHOW TheSameAdForTrainsOrJohnLewisesThatsRunningAnyway 140 REM ***do something with age *** 150 } UNTIL JournolistsStopBeingSoDamnCredulous