Satirical cartoon: Birmingham’s C̶o̶b̶r̶a̶ Ansells Mild Emergencies Committee

A meeting room. A sign on the wall reads ‘Birmingham City Council Terrorist Response Committee Meeting’

A long boardroom table. Glasses of water, pens, paper, name plates for local councillors, one is labeled ‘chair’. There is no-one in the room.

There is an old-fashioned phone near the Chair’s seat, it is ringing.

We can read the chairperson’s notes. Item one is ‘apologies’, under that there is a list of committee members and reasons why they aren’t there.

Attending Marketing Birmingham Envelope Opening

Attending Capita Xmas party

At Labour leadership campaign event

Can’t make it, am at Impact hub for social capital workshop

Also on the table are two newspapers, one’s headline is ‘COUNCIL ANTI-TERROR COMMITTEE TOO BUSY TO MEET’ the other leads with ‘PARIS SHOOTER PHONED BIRMINGHAM’

The caption reads ‘one missed call’.

Author: Jon Bounds

14th Most Influential Person in the West Midlands 2008, subsequently not placed. His new book about visiting every seaside pier in England and Wales — Pier Review — has been described as “On the Road meets On the Buses”, it's out now. Jon wrote and directed the first ever piece of drama to be performed on Twitter and founded the famous blog Birmingham: It's Not Shit.