Andy Street unveils WM mayor bid – we’ve got a leaked campaign email

The zaphiks servers just aren’t secure…



Re: All hail the Mayor!!!

9th September 2016 12:01

Hi Andy,

How’s the shop going?

I hear in the news that you fancy a knock at the big job, that’s super. Given your work in a similar but totally accountable position for the last few years I’m sure you have what it takes. Don’t listen to the naysayers, Andy, nor the voters!

You’ll need a media guy, it’s all about the advertising these days. Post-truth politics is the new thing so we can just lie all day. AND I still have Dion Dublin’s phone number, can you play dube cube Andy? We could get a load with your logo on.

I’ve already thought of some some slogans for you. How about:

  • Taking back control (for exchange only within 28 days of purchase)
  • ‘Best Midlands’, or something, it rhymes
  • Street cleaning/Streets ahead/Street view something
  • Andy Street: Serving the midlands (please take a ticket)
  • Never knowingly undersold – not sure what this one means.
  • We are the up to 99% off
  • Build a Wallmart and make Asda pay for it! (They’re the same company, right?)
  • If you want a digger for a neighbour, go to B+Q
  • Eat the Rich tasty ready meals in our essentials range.

Btw what’s the best email to get you on now you’re moving on?
Kind Regards


Author: Jon Bounds

Jon was voted the ‘14th Most Influential Person in the West Midlands’ in 2008. Subsequently he has not been placed. He’s been a football referee, venetian blind maker, cellar man, and a losing Labour council candidate: “No, no chance. A complete no-hoper” said a spoilt ballot. Jon wrote and directed the first ever piece of drama performed on Twitter when he persuaded a cast including MPs and journalists to give over their timelines to perform Twitpanto. But all that is behind him.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.