Andy Street unveils WM mayor bid – we’ve got a leaked campaign email

The zaphiks servers just aren’t secure…



Re: All hail the Mayor!!!

9th September 2016 12:01

Hi Andy,

How’s the shop going?

I hear in the news that you fancy a knock at the big job, that’s super. Given your work in a similar but totally accountable position for the last few years I’m sure you have what it takes. Don’t listen to the naysayers, Andy, nor the voters!

You’ll need a media guy, it’s all about the advertising these days. Post-truth politics is the new thing so we can just lie all day. AND I still have Dion Dublin’s phone number, can you play dube cube Andy? We could get a load with your logo on.

I’ve already thought of some some slogans for you. How about:

  • Taking back control (for exchange only within 28 days of purchase)
  • ‘Best Midlands’, or something, it rhymes
  • Street cleaning/Streets ahead/Street view something
  • Andy Street: Serving the midlands (please take a ticket)
  • Never knowingly undersold – not sure what this one means.
  • We are the up to 99% off
  • Build a Wallmart and make Asda pay for it! (They’re the same company, right?)
  • If you want a digger for a neighbour, go to B+Q
  • Eat the Rich tasty ready meals in our essentials range.

Btw what’s the best email to get you on now you’re moving on?
Kind Regards


Author: Jon Bounds

14th Most Influential Person in the West Midlands 2008, subsequently not placed. His new book about visiting every seaside pier in England and Wales — Pier Review — has been described as “On the Road meets On the Buses”, it's out now. Jon wrote and directed the first ever piece of drama to be performed on Twitter and founded the famous blog Birmingham: It's Not Shit.