Birmingham: 14 in 14 for the Tory Party Conference

For the people visiting the Tory Party Conference in Birmingham this week, our city’s marketeers are offering a fact pack which includes  “15 IN 15” (their unusual “public relations” “quotes”): 15 things about Birmingham in 2015. We’ve noticed that it’s 2014, actually, so for Tories and political journalists up for a jolly (have you seen how to write an article about Brum by the way?) here are 14 things you should know about the city whose lap dancing bars you’ll be in for the next few days:

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12 reasons why Birmingham should banish Tolkien

welcome to birmingham

JRR Tolkien was, by all accounts, a lovely bloke. His books might be badly-written overlong prose in need of an editor which gave birth to an era of badly written, overlong “high-fantasy” sagas, but as a human being he was, from what I can tell, beyond much reproach.

Tolkien, as anyone who’s read a ‘Birmingham’s dead interesting and that’ article can tell you, came from Birmingham and, because he’s dead famous, people in Birmingham will, on occasion, embrace this figure from our history and celebrate his roots.

I’m here to explain why people who love Birmingham should not celebrate JRR Tolkien’s residency in our land. In fact we should do the opposite: ignore the hell out of him and his deluded fans.
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Ten things you can get in Birmingham for a pound that will change your life forever

  1. A record from Reddingtons
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  2. Eat like a King (or Queen) at Mr Egg

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  3. A double vodka in Snobs. And then all the indie you can eat comes for free.

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  4. Have 3.33 pisses at New Street Station.

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  5. Anything (but not everything) from Poundland as it was founded by a Brummie.

  6. A packet of waxy, horrible posh crisps from the Hare and Hounds when you just want some Smiths or Walkers.

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  7. A bag of dodgy Loom Bands off one of the New Street trading posts.

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  8. 5 disposable lighters off some guy in the pub.

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  9. All rides (Dodgems £1.50)

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  10. A trolley from The Asda, to take back to halls of residence or to throw in the Tame.

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BONUS: And you can get a photo of Mr Egg from us for £1 when you make the minimum pledge on our Kickstarter.

Pictures: Sean O’Sullivan, Jon Bounds, Dominik Schwind, Sunchild 57 Photography, Vijay Chennupati, Carl Baker, Anne, Elliot Brown

Extra reporting by Jon B, Jon H and Midge.