Paradise City #1 – the early adopter edition

Welcome to Paradise City #1. We’re as surprised to be here as you are. We just put a sign up form up for a joke, but lots of you wanted to sign up for… for what? We’re not sure. You are our early adopters. You’ve stood outside our shop from 5pm the night before to get your hands on this newsletter. As you stumble out of our boutique into the street, feeling a little guilty and sick, perhaps, the man from the Evening Mail is there asking you “Why?”. “Why did you have to be here?” he says “What does it mean to you?” “I just wanted to be here” you say “it means everything”. That guy is not very good at interviews, or rather he is so long as what you want is the most banal consumerist platitude.

And then off you go, clutching the prize and you open it and… it’s alright. There’s loads of things missing though, really. It’s like the start of a good idea. They’ll get it right next time, and when they do… you’ll be here. It means everything.

via @ChrisBeanland

Bring Back Kong

There are plans afoot to for NatWest tower to be replaced by temporary giant balloon model of a poodle. If any temporary public art is going up in town then King Kong has the pedigree — if only we knew where he was. (Saved you a click, he’s in Penrith).

Brum, Brum

Bobby Alden has thrown  his mane into the ring to be new head twat on Top Gear by suggesting cycling is just for quiche loving tree huggers. By the way, Birmingham Gave The World Top Gear.

Total Eclipse of the Heart of England

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Eastside got a rebranded again as the Solar Eclipse Quarter (via @craigfots) but Sadly City TV didn’t cover the eclipse quite as well as their predecessors did (via @therealsoundhog)

Lost & Found

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She has her father’s eyes, doesn’t she?

Surely it won’t be hard to track down this distinctive looking family of Back to The Futurecosplayers@just_ade found their memory card on the Parade in Sutton.

Hyperlocal Corner

Infamous Erdington nudist hotel The Clover Spa is having a “clearance sale” — they’re stripping the place bare apparently.

Poetry Column, with EJ Thribb

World Poetry Day

So hello then #WorldPoetryDay
You are a day
For poetry
And also trees
And Downs Syndrome
I wonder what colour they’ve
Lit up the
Library?

BRMB’s kinda town

Occasional author of brummicana Chris Beanland spotted this lovely promo video for the second city — we ran an extract of his book a while back.

So that’s it for now. Let us know if this is the right sort of thing by tweeting us and tell your friends if you liked it.

Author: Jon Bounds

Jon was voted the ‘14th Most Influential Person in the West Midlands’ in 2008. Subsequently he has not been placed. He’s been a football referee, venetian blind maker, cellar man, and a losing Labour council candidate: “No, no chance. A complete no-hoper” said a spoilt ballot. Jon wrote and directed the first ever piece of drama performed on Twitter when he persuaded a cast including MPs and journalists to give over their timelines to perform Twitpanto. But all that is behind him.